thyrell:

captain-price-officially:

Have y’all tried marrying people you like?

imagine opening the newspaper over your morning coffee and the first article is a piece by your wife about how much she fucking hates you

toebeens:

ghulheim:

sunnyrae20:

dotted-sixteenth:

aloeveragel:

I remember in my Arabic class we were going over the alphabet and the teacher was like there’s no ‘P’ etc and this white girl was like wait what but my names Paige and my teacher was like lol then we’d pronounce it as beige and she was so offended I’m crying thinking about it

One of my mom’s friends, Hugh, went to France and they had a lot of trouble pronouncing his name because the entire thing was silent.

salut je m'appelle [REDACTED]

lol when I lived in France my host family had a friend names Hugh. We saw him and his family a lot.

They pronounced it “oog” and I didn’t know until the day before I left France that his name was Hugh. I just thought he had some weird caveman nickname 😭

that is hands down the funniest addition to this post

fallingtowers:

gun is a beautiful mother animal and it gives birth to baby bullets who are so fast and small and strong

palindromordnilap:

Hi! This is a rickroll. Please visit youtube dot com, type “never gonna give you up” in the search bar, then click on the first video that comes up. Thank you for your consideration.

jolyneart:

I open my wizard inbox and I’m immediately swarmed by bees

slash-dot-com:

awesome 👍

scratch-meowt:

there are 2 Ethans in my daughter’s class. you’d think they’d go by Ethan L and Ethan M, but they decided together that they would like to be called Lethan and Methan and I think that’s fantastic

sanpchat:

sanpchat:

Loch Ness mobster

quasi-normalcy:

quasi-normalcy:

color–theorist:

quasi-normalcy:

Nobody ever writes stories about kids who want to learn the classical violin but whose parents force them to learn the electric guitar instead.

Generationally speaking, we are well past the point where this is a plausible storyline.

“But papà! I wish to play in an orchestra!”

“That noise ain’t music! We only play Classic Rock in this family! And you will address me as ‘daddio’ while you’re livin’ under my roof, kid!”

Small Child (miserably): “I dig.”

chromorbid:

“bears repeating” and “time flies” are two kinds of creatures that fill similar ecological niches

vocodertests:

vocodertests:

Mr president we have reason to suspect their is a masquito in the oval office

Reading guide

• “Mr president” = me
• “The oval office” = my room
• “Their”, “masquito” = errors for comedic effect

Behind the scenes

This post was inspired by the Mosquito Bite that appeared at or around 1:30 AM on my right elbow. As of 1:39 AM, the culprit remains at large. Some say a faint buzzing can still be heard

emily84:

liltimmys:

nasfera2:

I wish Americans fucked with more foreign music. You don’t have to know the language to appreciate a good record. Folks in other countries listen to our music and don’t speak a lick of english. Music needs no translator

yall wont trick me into listening to kpop

You can try Radiooooo.com - The Musical Time Machine!!

choose a country, pick a decade, and GO!!

you’ll get an endless streaming of songs (ad free!).

I personally found myself loving 1970s Ghana, Senegal and Cote d’Ivoire! Also 1920s and 1970s Japan for sure! Cambodian music: spectacular. Love Armenia and Mali as well. I’ve been told 70s Germany is weird and 30s Algeria is cool but I haven’t gotten around to those yet. Italy’s 1960s is bomb ofc but I’m biased ;)

tatzelwurming:

tatzelwurming:

my shirt that says “not a danger to myself and others” getting me asked a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

some bitch is binding spirits on my post

misti-step: